Sunday, December 2, 2007

A DIFFICULT BIRTH

the carcass jumbled
on the ground
muscle shredded cobwebs
from ribs skewed
cavity hollow of organs
hide tattered torn
well what happened here
a calf was born

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3 Responses to “”

  1. KJ said

    Interesting piece.

    Uncertain as to the emotions of the final two lines.

    Seems to have a different tone from the rest of the poem.

    Lacks transition. Or maybe like in so many thoughts we consider in our daily expierence.. a sudden change in the writer’s point of view.

    P.S Please don’t take this as an attack on your poem. I’m just a random person who stumbled upon your poem and took a few moments to think about and comment on the piece. I suppose that is all any writer could hope for… a pause and consider by another.

    -KJ

  2. KJ said

    Interesting piece.

    Uncertain as to the emotions of the final two lines.

    Seems to have a different tone from the rest of the poem.

    Lacks transition. Or maybe like in so many thoughts we consider in our daily expierence.. a sudden change in the writer’s point of view.

    P.S Please don’t take this as an attack on your poem. I’m just a random person who stumbled upon your poem and took a few moments to think about and comment on the piece. I suppose that is all any writer could hope for… a pause and consideration by another.

  3. Mark said

    wow

    now that’s powerful!

    – Mark

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